


Spinal Tapped

by ohnoDK



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin’s hate for sand also runs deep in his daughter in-law, Ben Solo getting the life he deserves with Rey, Bendemption, Darkness and Light to meet it, F/M, Force Bond, Force Dyad, Happy Ben Solo is the best Ben Solo, Palpatine trying to mess with our heroes, Patricide guilt, Rey Solo, Reylo - Freeform, The Millennium Falcon is Ben’s worst enemy, all the love for Ben Solo from rey, eventual smut once I work myself up to it, i really love the planet Ilum and kyber crystals, rey obsessing over ben’s flowing locks, spinal injury that reflects throughout the story so bear with me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:29:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22170331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohnoDK/pseuds/ohnoDK
Summary: A dark, imminent threat is looming over Rey and she fights to stay one step ahead of it while settling into a life married to Ben Solo.Two years after the war between the First Order and the Rebellion, Ben Solo is now more ready than ever to fight for what he loves. Rey.The force brought them together, but will the force dyad be strong enough to fight off this final, unknown being?
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfic! The Rise of Skywalker put me in such a MOOD that I just had to write up something. Something that actually went right. So I hope you enjoy this and feel free to critique and throw out suggestions for my next chapter. It felt great to write this and I can’t believe it took that ONE SCENE to put my butt in gear.

**The Prologue**

The impact of the imploding rebel base brings me to my knees. The Final Order has found us.

The deafening whirs of TIE fighters flying over ring in my ears.

I ball my fists. This isn’t how it was supposed to end. I try to stand, but threatening shots are fired all around me. Damn Stormtroopers.

I am weaponless. I am defenseless. I am done. I am cut off from the Force.

An electrical current runs through me. The fear of failure fuels my veins once more as I try to stand up.

My face hits the ground immediately and my entire body becomes frozen. Then a low ringing starts up in my ears. Wetness trickles down my face.

Groggily, I roll over and see a dark robed figure.

“At last...” the being croaks in a grave voice. “I have brought the Empress to her knees. Your destiny awaits, my child.”

Before I can form a protest, darkness encompasses me.

————————————————————

Tatooine - present

“I really hate sand. There is absolutely no need for it” I grumble. BB-8 is stuck in a sand trap and making the most disgruntled beeping noises ever heard.

We were on our way to a local trading post, on Tatooine, when we accidentally passed through Tusken Raider territory.

I suppose it was my fault since my eyes had been trained on the sky for the entire trip. Searching for someone. For him.

“BeeeeoooooooOooooooop” BB-8 quips.

“Alright, alright! I’m sorry. I’ve gotcha now” I exclaim as I raise the droid out of the pit.

Once free, BB-8 rolls quickly ahead as if in petulant rage.

“Don’t throw a fit too far ahead, you’ll get blasted!” I yell. “Or worse, fall in another pit!”

I hear only silence in return. “Off with him then” I mutter as I continue trudging through the coarse sand.

I slump my shoulders. A feeling of loneliness shoots through me.

I just wanted to grab parts to fix the Falcon, but my mind drifted elsewhere. It drifted to him. Always him.

A wave of familiar energy rushes through me. Then—“You really need to stop thinking about me when I’m in the middle of a meeting with Lando and the other generals. He somehow knows when my mind drifts to you. It’s creepy.”

Captain Ben Solo, General Leia Organa and Han Solo’s only son, appears before me. Also better known as the former Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

Being force-bonded with your past enemy should have been awkward, but we made it work by deciding to get married after the war.

“You have to know that I can’t help but miss those wavy locks of yours” I tiredly say. He smiles knowingly at me.

For years, our bond would open up during our weakest moments. Almost like it wanted us to console or help the other.

One such moment was when I was shot in the back on Ilum. The snowy and secluded planet that was home to the famous kyber crystals. Crystals that powered a Jedi’s lightsaber.

This occurred when The Knights of Ren were first assigned to capture me. No thanks to the one and only Kylo Ren. He had figured out my location when I slipped on some ice while trudging past the newly melted ice door leading into the Crystal Caves.

————————————————————

Ilum - past

He appeared in my peripherals, but I ignored him at first trying to stamp down the force bond.

“Looking to get frostbite, scavenger? I never figured you one for snow.” I slip again, but this time he catches my fall. “Don’t touch me.” I snarl at him.

A mask-less Kylo Ren lifts a brow and nods as he releases my bicep. “I expected as much.” He puts his hands behind his back and leans forward. “A scavenger is always true to her nature, but... one must learn to work with other scum in order to survive this war. Note that I say survive, not win.”

“You must really enjoy hearing yourself talk.” I huff at him. Continually stumbling through sheet of ice was not how I wanted to stand my ground against the Supreme Leader, but I had to try.

“What planet are you on? You look like you could go for a nice hot cup of caf right now. And perhaps a warm blanket or five.”

“This again?” I grumble. “I will not be easily swayed by you.”

He cocks his head and looks at my waist where Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber should be. “Must be hard trying to fix the lightsaber that we completely shattered together. I’d consider it impossible. Maybe your only choice would be to...” he trails off and looks back up at me. He smiles and the bond closes.

I start sliding across the ice like a porg using my staff like an oar. He knows where I am and what I intend to do. I must locate my kyber crystal fast. I refuse to turn back now.

As I climb up a wall of ice, I sense it. Not the calling of my crystal, but the ice door beginning to close up behind me. I’m running out of time. My chance of escape is low. I parked the Falcon too far away and came alone. Kylo was right in one aspect. I needed to stop being a lone wolf and work with others. I wouldn’t be in this situation otherwise.

Right now, my options are looking slim. Either the First Order will capture me first, or I’ll freeze to death. I honestly don’t know what I would prefer.

I slip down some ice and find myself flung into a pool of the coldest water I’ve ever felt. My entire body instantly started shaking and cramped up. I managed to get my arms moving and broke the surface.

I swim to an edge of the pool and pull myself out. As I start to stand up, I glance up and gasp. There, in front of me, are dozens of glowing kyber crystals. “This is incredible.” I whisper. But then my brow creases. “This is also impossible.”

I reach forward and try to grab one of the glowing crystals, but then the caves start to shake. I hurriedly grab one of the crystals and start booking it out of there. The First Order has arrived.

As I find my way back to the entrance, the ice wall has only a few more feet left before it is entirely frozen over. I waste no time and quickly slip under.

An AT-AT appears before me and is pointed directly at me as I stand back up. It starts to shoot and I scramble sideways. This is not how I wanted to be greeted after finding my first kyber crystal. Soaking wet and being chased by my enemies. Absolutely lovely.

The force of the blasts rock the side of the ice mountain and causes some snow to fall. I start my way towards the Falcon and slip behind a wall of ice before the AT-AT could turn around. I hear a squad of troopers up ahead and positioned myself out of their sight as they passed by.

Once they pass, I continue on towards my way off this icy and desolate planet. Once I see my ship in sight, a blast knocks me off my feet. I collect my bearings and get up quickly. Six masked figures in all black block my path to the Falcon. Each carrying a different weapon that oozed darkness.

I think of my options. Head back towards the troopers and AT-AT and get shot immediately, or face them head on and get cut in half immediately.

Luckily, none of the masked weirdos don a lightsaber so my staff will have to do. For now. I do what I do best, I engage my enemies head on and charge. As I reach the my first opponent, I am force pushed back several feet and see a ship starting to land. The Silencer, or better known as Kylo Ren’s ship.

I stand up and slowly back up. The six figures close in on me as the ship’s door opens to the sight of Kylo Ren walking down it like he had a right to be there. A right to stand on the very planet that granted him his first lightsaber. The planet that shaped his very beginning.

I force jump onto a nearby cliff so I had a higher vantage point. I am immediately surrounded. As Kylo walks towards me he force pulls my staff out of my hands and then the kyber crystal out of my pocket.

“I don’t think you’ll be needing these anytime soon. Surrender now, Rey. You have nowhere else to go.”

My adrenaline kicks in and I close my eyes and feel for the force. I feel for the living beings that are hidden and sequestered on Ilum. I tug on their life forces and search for a way out. I find one. I open my eyes and jump down in front of Kylo and start sprinting towards him. As he reaches a hand out to stop me—

A shot rings out in both of our ears. I am looking straight at Kylo as I see his brown eyes widen in horror as he tries to catch my fall. Pain like I’ve never felt before spiderwebs across my back in spasms of electric shock that includes an intense pressure that shoots up into the back of my neck.

I’ve been shot in the back.

Kylo catches me and brings us down to the icy floor. “Rey! No! No no no no no. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He whispers.

I frown at him. I don’t understand why he’s saying this. Doesn’t he want me dead? Maybe he just wanted information on the rebel movement. To stop his own mother, General Organa, from pestering his First Order once and for all.

I start seeing black spots on his face but blink those away as I start to feel the pain lessen in my lower back. Almost... almost as if it were going numb. There are tingling sensations shooting through my lower half. Then I felt nothing. As if the pain just stopped. Did he heal me? No, that couldn’t be right. That would be impossible.

Then I look down at my legs and try to move them. I can still move my hips, but I can’t move my legs to stand. To stand and try to run away from all this. I can’t though. I can’t run. I gasp in understanding. I can’t walk. I can’t move my legs. The shot paralyzed me waist down. Kylo Ren finally has the upper hand.

I slowly look back up at Kylo as he hovers his hand behind my back trying to assess the damage. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He repeats again. “Can you...” he gulps. “Can you stand?”

I look at him with abject grief and hesitate to answer. He places his hand on my leg to try to help me move it and looks at me expectantly, but somehow, he knows I can’t feel it. “I can feel the numbness and the pain, Rey. I can feel everything. You don’t need to lie.”

He’s attuned to my physical peril through our force bond somehow. Why would the force show him this? Why would it let my enemy know my condition?

I close my eyes for a moment and feel the fight drain from my body. I open them again and coldly stare at him. “You’ve won, Kylo Ren. I can’t feel my legs.”

“This is not a win. This is not...” he trails off as he notices a red-headed man sauntering up to him with a shit-eating grin.

“Where’s my thank you, Ren?” General Hux says as he sneers down at me. “About time this desert rat is rendered inoperative.” He glares at me and looks expectantly at Kylo.

“Ready the med-bay. We leave at once.” Kylo replies and lifts me up.

“We should kill her while she still stands. Or rather,” Hux grins, “kill her while she’s down. It’s really too bad I didn’t aim higher.” Hux says as he spins his blaster in his hand.

I notice Kylo’s jaw tighten, but continues on carrying me toward The Silencer. “I don’t repeat myself” was all he replied.

General Hux huffs indignantly, but walks ahead of us to shout the orders.

We arrive at the med bay soon enough and Kylo gently sets me down on a white cushioned bench. A small droid then scans me over with a red laser.

The numbness in the lower half of my body spreads to my mood. I start to feel numb inside. The will to fight is slowly seeping out of me and the man I’ve been running from for several years is the only thing keeping me tethered to consciousness right now.

“What now?” I ask as I slowly tip my head up to him.

Kylo looks down at me for a while in a pained expression, while the med droid continues to scan away. I can sense, no I can FEEL the anguish inside him. He feels remorse for what has happened to me. But why?

I come out of my reverie as I am poked forcefully in the back and pain shoots through my back. “GaaaaAHHH!” I clench down on my teeth to try and keep quiet as I cradle my head.

The droid speaks up. “The patient is suffering a spinal cord injury, but due to the amount of force and spread of the blaster fire, there is currently no feeling below the waist. Since the patient can feel pain in her back, there is a 21.7 percent chance that it can be healed completely through bacta treatments. How would you like me to proceed, Supreme Leader?”

Kylo is still looking at me. He takes a deep breath and looks away.

“Induce her in a medical coma and put her in the bacta tank. I want her fully healed. Keep this knowledge to yourself and if anyone asks, send them to me.”

The confusion comes to me in waves. It’s almost like he’s feeling the same way too, confused and lost. I go to speak to him, but he turns his back and walks out of the med bay. I wouldn’t have known what to say anyways.

I blink as the doors shut and I turn back to the droid. It pokes me with a needle and I succumb to a deep sleep. My last thought lingering on a dark set of brown eyes.

————————————————————

When Ben Solo turned, the day General Organa passed on, he handed me his lightsaber and took a knee. With his head bowed, he reached out his hand and asked if he could join me. If I could ever forgive him.

Our force bond has connected us and shown each other our darkest moments. The moments that brought understanding and acceptance to our confusing relationship.

I, of course, forgave him and took his hand. He showed me that even as a heartless monster that I claimed him to be, he would still make sure I never suffered. Because he grew to care for me. Like I did for him. We were the same, him and I, and no one else but us could understand each other to our very cores.

When he healed me and helped me escape off his ship after capturing me on Ilum, I knew things were only beginning with us. The surprise he felt when utter fear enraptured his heart as I was shot in front of him, shook him to his very core.

Realization bloomed in his mind that I should be protected at all costs. Like I was and will always be a part of his soul. He likes to whisper that part to me late at night when his arms are around me and everything feels oh so right in the world.

————————————————————

Tatooine - present

I try to force a smile, but quit immediately when his brows furrow. “What’s happened? We haven’t received a report from you in two days. Do I need to send a unit for assistance? I can fly out to you now.”

I sigh inwardly. Who knew that the imposing, dark, and raging man I used to know as Kylo Ren would turn into such a mother hen.

“Falcon trouble. Again. I’m working my way towards an outpost now for spare parts.”

Ben comes up to me and takes my hands in his and locks stern, brown eyes on my tired, hazel ones.

“When will you let me buy you a new ship. That filthy pile of junk is going to get you killed, or worse, stranded on a desert planet! Oh... WAIT. You already are.”

I pull away from him and continue walking. He follows alongside me.

“Rey. You need to be more careful. Ever since you’ve started having those visions, a dark presence seems to be drawing near. Next time, take FN-2—“

“You mean Finn?” I stormily shoot back at him.

“Yes, yes. Uh. F-Finn. Right. He can watch your back while you continue to get distracted by everything around you...”

His voice suddenly fades away.

I freeze. Ben vanishes and the sand turns to black ice. The ground starts to shake and then stops.

“...Ben?” I whisper. Nothing in response.

“BB-8?” I bend down and feel the ground. It’s cold and hard. I slide forward, stumbling as the now icy ground quakes once more.

I close my eyes and focus on the Force to try and decipher my surroundings.

I am hit with emptiness. Abruptly so. My heart drops and the coldness starts to seep into my skin.

This feeling is familiar. I’ve had this dream before. Chalk up another vision coming true.

The quaking begins again and a crack begins in the ice just a few feet in front of me. A powerful winds beats against me and I try to stay put.

My balance is lost as I am pushed towards the now-gaping ice chasm before me. I search for something to grab onto, but there is nothing. I brace myself.

Then I am falling.

I hit the ground quickly, but it is not a hard impact. I reach down and my hand slides through sand. Sand that is horrible and beautiful at the same time.

My relief is short-lived as I look up and see multiple weapons pointed at me from above.

“Oh Kriff.”

Tusken Raiders really know how to set their sand traps.

I begin to stand, but what might’ve been a warning shot clips my shoulder blade as I tumble back into the sand.

Blinding pain shoots through me for a few moments and then I look up and see BB-8 being kicked down in the pit with me.

The droid crashes into my knee and I just lie back and suffer through the pain silently.

A few hours pass and I feel Ben’s force signature pushing to get through to me. I let him in, but it was more like a crash of nerfherders running me over from the force of his emotions.

“ARE YOU OKAY? I am on my way to you now. You need to stay put and have BB-8 apply bacta spray to your wounds while you wait for me. You need to be more careful. You have no idea what it felt like when our link suddenly failed. I...I thought I lost you.”

Somehow Ben got all of this out within a single breath.

“I’m fine. But you’re not. Breathe. Just breathe, it’ll be okay.” I try to console him even though I’m the one shot and stuck in a sand trap.

He realizes this and shakes his head. “I’m sorry. Okay. I just reached planet-side. Stay put.”

“Aye aye captain.” I salute him.

Ben smirks. “You might want to cover your ears.”

“Why?” I’m answered with a barrage of blaster fire erupting all around me. “Ah.”

Our connection ends and I try to sit up. No use. I lost too much blood. I breathe out through my nose and signal for BB-8 to apply bacta spray to my shoulder.

“Thanks buddy.” The droid beeps happily and scans me for more physical damage.

I hear commotion from above. Fighting grunts from the sounds of it. I hear a final gun shot and a halo of black hair appears from above.

I am force lifted up and into his awaiting arms. “Don’t forget about BB-8!” Since the droid is beeping indignantly below.

“Are you really chastising me for saving your life, right now?” Ben grumbles as his grip on me tightens. Painfully.

“Ow...” I gasp. Ben’s eyes widens and sets me down. He runs one of his hands down my back as if to check for spinal damage. “Sorry love. I’ll get your droid and we can fly out of here. Where did you park the junk heap?”

I narrow my eyes at him and mutter “the moisture farm.”

“Why were you at Uncle Luke’s old dwellings? That place has been picked through by at least dozens of junkers over the years. There’s nothing there.” Ben says as he lifts BB-8 out of the pit.

I am still chilled by the vision I experienced earlier and confused. And still in pain. I close my eyes for a quick moment for a short reprieve, but feel a sharp poke between eyebrows.

“Stay awake. You must’ve hit your head when you fell and I don’t like how your pupils keep dilating” Ben grumbles as he lifts me up and carries me back to his ship.

I sense his anxiety through his force signature. Ever since Ilum, we can better sense each other’s moods and thoughts.

Once, Ben touched a plant that was native from Jakku and a force echo of my own memory swept through him. We are interconnected and what we are is something that still blows my mind. We are force dyads.

I prefer the term soulmates, but Ben tells me like it is. His scholarly nature and the need to know everything for our continual survival tends to bring out the snooty Prince Solo.

He also can’t seem to accept what he has. What he has always longed for. Peace. Peace and a whole lot of stubborn love from yours truly.

This grumpy man, who I call my husband, still doesn’t think he deserves me. Or even deserves this life we both worked so hard to get.

My acts of love sometimes leads him to doubt that he’s still alive. That he’s passed on and living in some self-made afterlife. Which really makes my ego explode because sex with me is apparently that mind-blowing.

But, when he brings this up, I usually threaten to steal his ship so he would have to result in piloting the Falcon. The junk heap that he can’t stand.

“Ben?” I whisper.

He looks down at me and scrunches his eyebrows. “You’re not going to make me drive your ship, are you? I know you’re thinking about it.” Then he smiles.

I smile back. I reach up and stroke his cheek. “We can take your ship back to base. The Falcon still needs repairs anyways.”

Ben lets out a breath and quickens his pace. “There’s a sandstorm brewing. We need to get off this planet before it hits.” He looks down at me again. “I would also like to be laying horizontal on top of you by the time the sun goes down.”

I blush deeply and roll my eyes as I reach down to squeeze his behind.


	2. The Solo Farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben Solo lay low for a while to train and try to make a life for themselves. Something menacing interferes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to fluff it up a bit more in this chapter, but things never go according to plan. I can’t wait to see how I do with actual lightsaber battles.

Naboo

The pitter-patter of rain above me rouses me from my slumber. I try to sit up, but my body aches from soreness all over. I try twitching my legs and soul-crushing panic rushes through me.

I can’t feel my legs. Again. The shock of my fall a week ago must’ve damaged my spine after all, I need to get out of here and find a med droid. We were supposed to start a different training regiment today. I need to find Ben and—

My inner ramblings immediately get disturbed when I feel a deep voice start to rumble on my lower stomach. 

“I know I’m not supposed to tell you this, since you’re a woman and all, but you need to calm down.” Ben sighs deeply as he raises himself off of my legs and torso and rolls to his side of the bed. 

I flush deeply as I remember what we did last night and how quickly we must’ve fallen asleep after our lovemaking ended. Ben smirks at me as if he knows my train of thought but then his expression grows more serious as he leans over to whisper to me.

“Your spine was not injured, but you did sustain some minor bruising and a mild contusion to your knee. The gunshot wound on your shoulder is healing up nicely due to all the bacta patches applied; the sew-job, by yours truly, seems to be a working success. I’ll remove the stitching tonight.” 

He starts probing my shoulder with his long, slender fingers. I slap his hand away and stand up, relishing the movements I make with my legs. “I was so sure I was paralyzed again. I don’t know why my brain keeps coming back to it. It’s been over two years since then.” 

Ben gets up and joins me standing at the edge of our bed wrapping an arm around my torso. “The fear you feel inside will most likely never go away, Rey. If it’s any consolation, if you do somehow end up losing feeling in your legs, we can always install metal ones or I can even help you walk with the force. You’ll never be without. I’ll make sure of it.”

My heart squeezes at the dedication and fondness I hear in his voice. This is a man who used to spit hateful rhetoric, kidnapped me, interrogated me, and also lost himself to the dark side for most of his life. Snoke tortured his mind and controlled his thoughts. He never deserved to go through such pain. 

Whoever decided to give him a second chance at a decent life definitely knew what they were doing. The force. Fate. His ancestral lineage. Whoever. I’ll be forever grateful to. Ben is the only one left in this galaxy that truly gets it. Who gets me. 

I turn around in his arms and lift my heels up to kiss him soundly. I open my eyes and stare at the man who’s brought light into my life. From his darkness, he made me shine brighter than I ever have before. 

“From your light, my darkness has faded into something better.” Ben says with a wink, as if he just read my mind. “From your love, my darkness is shaped into making this galaxy, this life we share together, into something inexplicably profound. Something meaningful. Something I’ve never had before. Thank you, Rey.”

He squeezes my chin and runs his hand through my hair, eventually cupping the back of my head and pulling our foreheads together. 

“This is what I am happy with. This is how I want to end my days. With you. Safe and sound, especially in my bedroom.” At the last part, he gives me a shit-eating grin and pulls away from me. 

“Don’t you mean OUR bedroom, oh husband of mine.” I flash my wedding band at him. “Or does this mean nothing?” 

“It sure means something, love. That you’re mine and mine alone. That’ll never change.”

Ben stretches out his back and roguishly says “Come on, if we keep flirting like this, I’m never going to let you leave this room.” 

Ben walks towards the fresher as I to start change into my training gear. I notice he’s stopped right before its entrance shamelessly staring back at my naked body. 

“That is...” He ventures. “If you would like to continue where we left off last night?” 

I waggle my eyebrows at him as I gently force push him the rest of the way into the bathroom. He laughs as he shuts the door. 

-

-

-

As I reach the training grounds first, I climb up into an old hunting stand and take a moment to absorb my surroundings. The sun is beginning to rise as I overlook several fields of various colored flowers. I inhale deeply through my nose and close my eyes to enjoy their heady fragrances.

Ben and I stumbled upon this blossom wine farm after scaling the Gallo Mountains on Naboo looking for a suitable place to lie low, or, as Ben likes to call it, “the new Solo homestead.” 

The abandoned house, miraculously, was still in good enough shape being made from both wood and stone. It had a quaint-peaked roof and multiple rooms underneath. The farm, originally called The Summit Farm Blossom Winery, is located on a foothill near the Gallo Mountains themselves so we have a pretty great view. 

Ben’s grandmother, Padmé Amidala, was once the queen and a senator of Naboo during the final years of the Galactic Republic. She was only a teenager, which blows my mind. The strength and resolve she maintained to govern her people must have been amazing to witness firsthand. 

I deeply inhale the fresh air again and start to nod off. I simply cannot imagine growing up on such a lush, green planet. From my perch, I lazily open my eyes and scan the rolling grass plains below me, a few dense swamps off in the distance, and the verdant hills surrounding the entire mountain. 

Padmé must have loved this place so much to fight for it so endearingly. It makes sense she would have because this place is absolutely beautiful. I could stay up here forever and just— 

All of a sudden I fall forward and start crashing through wet branches. My arms try to snake around a low branch that’s closest to the ground, but I slip and continue to fall and land on a bale of hay.

As I slowly get to my feet, rubbing my arms, I hear a low rumble of laughter off to my right. There, standing in the middle of the training circle, is Ben. Hands on his knees, laughing his ass off. He looks over at me and sees my deep frown.

“You would have, no—you HAVE done the same thing to me before so don’t give me that look, sweetheart!” Ben placates with his hands up.

I huff indignantly and walk towards him, joining him in the training circle. “I only force pushed you into that lake because you smelled terrible! It was your own fault that you added a kriffing mud pit as an extra obstacle to get through the Kashyyyk training course.”

We have inhabited many planets in search of the right one to settle down in. Kashyyyk had way too many bugs and man-eating plants. We both decided we would rather sleep on the ship than deal with certain death each night we laid underneath the stars. We both decided we deserved the better than what we had. Jakku and a dessert terrain was out of the question and living on a ship constantly moving through orbit was also not a top priority.

Ben wanted to experience all these planets firsthand; and in better company and circumstances than before. I had no objections with him showing me new places in the galaxy. So we went planet to planet, usually staying no more than a month, set up camp and a training course to keep ourselves fit, and explored each world. 

We have been on Naboo for five months already and I have a feeling we’re not going anywhere. Ben has already started fixing up the place making it more homey by re-building old fence lines and making the house more livable. I constantly tinker out in an old wooden barn that takes up 100-yards on the inside. It was full of old farming equipment and droid parts. We use it as our ship hangar now and we both fashioned the roof to open up. 

Ben also cleared out a few acres for our training grounds. That’s where I’m standing now, hands on hips, glaring up at my obnoxious husband. He reaches down swipes at my chin with his thumb. “You were the one who forced pushed me off that log causing me to fall in!” He rolls his eyes skyward and then narrows his eyes. “You were falling asleep in a tree when you should’ve been stretching to prepare for your training session.” Ben grows serious and grabs my forearms. “I’m going to teach you how to control your lightning.” 

That conversation sure took a turn. My heart rate kicks up and goose bumps spread across my skin. I open my mouth, but then close it. Pure fear escalates through me and I find it hard to swallow. I fist my shaking hands and try to collect myself. 

Ben, witnessing and feeling my inner turmoil, tightens his grip on me and nods. “I know. I know, Rey. I have encountered that fear before and, like I have, you can overcome it. I will never make you do something you don’t want to do, but I believe you can do this and grow into these powers that were thrust upon you. These unknown powers can be advantageous for us against the coming storm you keep sensing.”

My nightmares usually consist of me killing Ben or my friends in the Resistance. One particular reoccurring nightmare includes an unknown, hooded figure that forces me to join the dark side as it wields a paralyzing grip over my entire body. I wake up and a sort of sleep paralysis takes hold of my body. I’ve never been so scared to fall asleep by myself after going through that multiple times. Fortunately, my force dyad helps me through it. 

It still amazes me how connected we are. It all started with a simple hand touch and it has bloomed ever since. And with it, my powers. 

I step away from Ben and take a deep breath. I close my eyes and feel for the force. I center my gravity and force all my negative emotions down and reach for what has always been there. What has always protected me and led me to survive. My gritty determination. 

The rain ceases. I feel the bright morning rays shining upon me. I open my eyes and nod at Ben. “You’re right. I can do this. Just—just makes sure to step back. I don’t want to hurt you.” 

Ben smiles at me and shakes his head as he walks to the edge of the ring. “You’re more reliable and steady than you think you are. You need to stop doubting yourself.” Then he begins to move a bunch of poles around me with makeshift weather veins welded in at the top. 

“Now, I want you to focus all of your energy on striking one pole and making it spin. Channel your strength into one bolt of lightning—“ he points to a metal pole closest to me, “and make sure you don’t overcompensate and lose control by charging the rest of the poles that surround it. Your goal today is to be able to stay in control and make your powers abide to your command.”

I stare at the metal pole in front of me. Focusing on one thing only. Control.

Force lightning is an energy-based attack that channels energy down your limbs. It is a purely offensive attack that hurls arcing bolts of electricity from your fingertips or palms. 

Force lightning can be executed with either one or two of my hands. I prefer using one hand so I can use the other with my lightsaber. 

I draw my right arm out and a bolt of electricity arcs out of my hand into the pole in front of me. It then starts to spread farther than I intended and, much to my dismay, the other poles are hit and the entire training yard is lit up. I let up and scowl. I look over at Ben, but he just stares at me with no expression and says, “again.” 

I repeatedly practice this, over and over again. I once only spread my electricity to just one other metal pole, but it was still one too many. 

“Again.” Ben repeats.

-

1 hour goes by.

“Again.”

-

2 hours go by. I begin to sweat profusely.

“Again.” 

-

After the 3rd hour, my hands begin to tingle and lose feeling. I stare at them and feel a strange feeling. As if something has changed. My throat tightens as if all the oxygen blinked out of existence. I look up in confusion and horror; and before Ben has the chance to repeat himself, I arc a lightning bolt his way with reckless abandon. Using both hands.

Before he has the chance to switch on his lightsaber, I hit him square on and he falls to the ground trembling in agony; in shock. 

The feeling that went through me was pure, unadulterated hatred. I sensed that I needed to take out my enemy, quickly, before it was too late. He needs to be eradicated. 

I begin to walk towards the traitor. The traitor that captured me. Who tortured and killed my friends. He seduced me just so he could use me. For my powers.

I need to leave. Before I am tempted to join him and continue down this lowly path. Like I should join the one true emperor. I see a map in my head leading me to him. Leading me to my salvation. Where I can rule alongside—

I blink and all feeling falls from my limbs. I slump to the ground. I snap out of my thoughts, or were they actually mine? Why would I want to join... the emperor? Who was this emperor. What is happening to me? I hear a faint shout. I feel like I’m under 5 feet of snow. I feel so cold. 

The wind picks up and my body starts to feel pin pricks all over. As if I was getting assaulted with icicles. Over and over again. 

I duck my head in my arms and fold myself into a ball. Trying to protect myself from whatever was intruding inside my head since I knew this wasn’t real. I can almost feel invisible hands stroking the insides of my mind with malicious intent. As if to lure me out.

A headache splits my vision and I grunt in pain. I remember what I just did. Who I just hurt.

I look up to see Ben limping toward me. With a look of frustration and pain. Or was that worry? Fear?

I am assaulted again with sharp pricks of coldness. With mind numbing suggestions of murder and deceit. 

“Rey, push him out. Push him out now! I know who he is. He is trying to turn you. To bend you to his will. Just like I was. Keep him out of your head. He has” Ben gasps in pain, hits his chest and continues on, “he has a power I’ve never come in contact with before. He wants you. He knows you are still susceptible to the dark side. Like we both are. FIGHT. HIM.”

Ben grits the last part out as he lays himself down next to me ungracefully. He grabs both of my hands and leans his head towards mine. A familiar feeling of warmth and comfort starts to surround me. I bask in it as I realize it’s him opening our force dyad bond. Opening it so I could reconnect with what I truly am. Who I am and who I belong with. Him. Ben Solo. My husband. My other half. My soulmate. 

“Keep him out. Come on, sweetheart. Come on!” He wraps his arms around me and holds me to his chest as if I was about to fall off a cliff. I guess I was. Metaphorically.

The pressure in my head dissipates and my vision clears. My body starts to warm up and I look up at Ben. His eyes are closed as he is clutching me to him. Rather too tightly, not that I minded. He was anchoring me. Back to my senses.

“I...I think it’s over. I can’t feel him anymore.” My throat closes up. A rising guilt almost threatens to swallow me as I see the tips of his ebony locks singed. Singed from my lightning bolt. I look down at his chest and know that it is also singed. I can smell his burnt skin.

I back out of his embrace and stand up. I start to walk away from him. I drop my lightsaber. I can’t be trusted anymore. 

Ben opens his eyes up and tiredly looks up at me. “What do you think you are doing?” 

“I just tried to kill you with a kriffing death bolt and you are trying to comfort me? You almost DIED. You shouldn’t want to be anywhere near me.” I gulp and try to keep my eyes from watering. I don’t deserve to be forgiven.

He sighs deeply. Then, he slams his fist to the ground and looks at me with brazen rage. 

“You—“ Ben huffs and then closes his eyes. He opens them again. “You have done NOTHING wrong.” He grits his teeth.

“But I just—“ 

“YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!” He roars.

I take another step back. I haven’t witnessed his chaotic anger in years. Especially when it has been directed at me.

I frown. Before I can get a word out, Ben force pulls me back to where he’s sitting. He reaches his arms up. “Help me up. Take me inside so I can give you a proper beating since you want one so bad.” 

I reach towards him, but I hesitate. He glares up at me and grabs my arms anyways. I hold fast and he pulls himself up. He leans heavily on me and we start walking back to the house, albeit very slowly. Ben weighed a ton. 

“I really don’t think I am two thousand pounds, dear.” He deadpans.

I grumble about him staying out of my head, but he studiously ignores me. We reach the threshold and somehow stumble inside the house without tripping. I lead him to our bathroom and leave him sitting on the edge of the tub in search of medical supplies. 

A few minutes later, I am applying bacta patches to Ben’s chest and making him drink some water.

The entire time I tend to him, he just stares at me with a hooded expression. I can feel his disappointment seeping through our bond. 

After a while, I sigh. “Just say it, Ben.”

“Why? You wouldn’t believe me anyways.” He immediately replies. 

I finish what I’m doing and start packing up the supplies with my back turned to him. “How would you feel if you... if you did something like that to me, huh? It feels almost as worse as losing you indefinitely.” 

My shoulders start to shake. I grip the sink in front of me tightly and take a deep breath. “I hate myself right now.”

I see Ben stand up behind me in the bathroom mirror. I look down and stay still.

“You must fail to remember the years I spent chasing you. Trying to force you to turn to the dark side. Coercing you to join me in ruling over the entire galaxy. I believe I ripped some of your memories from your head. Or did you just forget instead of forgive?” 

I begin to shake my head slowly, but a hand snakes around my neck and tilts my face up. He forces me look at myself in the mirror. At the both of us. Standing together. 

“I have already forgiven you for everything, Ben. You did nothing...” I trail off and start to see where he’s coming from. He looks at me pointedly.

“Finish that sentence.” He sees me frown. “Rey... say it. Say it out loud.” 

“You did nothing wrong, Ben. Just like I did nothing wrong today. I just failed to protect you—“ Ben puts his hand over my mouth and raises his eyebrows at me.

“We did nothing wrong. We are only held accountable by our own actions. The ones that we forcibly control. Rey, he took over your mind. I felt the hatred in you. Felt the way you wanted to tear me apart. And I definitely don’t think you actually wanted to do that. Not with the way you were panting my name last night. Maybe tear me apart in others ways...”

It takes me a moment to realize what he said before I blush crimson. “Why, you little—!” I swat his hand away from my face and shove him away. He winces from the contact. 

My eyes widen as I start to apologize. He silences me with a finger to my mouth. “I’ll only forgive you if you make breakfast. How about porg eggs and those bantha-butter pancakes you make so well?” 

I roll my eyes at him as I nod my confirmation. We walk towards the kitchen, but he stops me before I can reach for the ice box. “We’re going to need to leave tonight.” 

My eyes widen in realization. “He knows where we are.” I slump my shoulders and look up at him. “This was beginning to feel like home.”

“No, Rey. Anywhere is home if you’re there.” He squeezes my shoulder. “As long as we’re together.” 

I place my hand on his above my shoulder and nod my head. “Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> And don’t worry. I would never kill off our boy, Ben Solo. It just isn’t a very good plot line... ;)


	3. Bitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t hate you. Nor do I believe you have ulterior motives to sabotage us from the inside. I trust in Rey. Even though it took me way too long to remember that. I also realize she wouldn’t be...” Rose blushes, “hooking up with you if you wanted to destroy us all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I finally pulled up my big girl jeans and wrote you all some smut. Reylo can be a ReyHo from time to time, if ya know what I mean. ;) Enjoy!

After packing up all of our essentials onto Ben’s ship, his old First Order command shuttle that he begrudgingly confiscated, we set a course to Ajan Kloss. It’s a jungle moon that’s located in the Outer Rim so it’ll take us a while to reach the planet.

The Rebel base is currently located there. We plan to reconvene with them after our one-week hiatus. Since Ben is a Captain for the Rebellion, I have more of an obligation now to check in and do my part instead of being the honorary Jedi who did what she wanted and only helped out when she could.

I blame Ben for my newly established protocol change since he didn’t like how the Rebellion let me “go about my Jedi business” without checking in and seeking additional operative guidance.

I think they were all too nervous to take liberties with me, with the exception of General Organa, since most of them had never met a force user. Now, with General Organa stepping down, Poe Dameron and Finn have been appointed as the new co-generals. So they needed to establish their new joint leadership somehow and Ben’s idea to corral me was their first opportunity. Much to my chagrin.

General Organa, better known to me as Leia or Ben’s mother, stepped down just so she could spend lost time with her son and take time to grieve for Han and Luke. She’s also taking over as my new Jedi Master. I couldn’t just give that title to my egotistical husband who enjoys teaching me way too much. I swear it’s a kink of his.

We regularly communicated with the Rebel base, through BB-8, of our activities while we were planet hopping in search of our very own home base. Having to abandon what we found, together, and head back to square one is pretty disheartening. But I know Ben and I will make it work out. We just have to.

Leia would always be the one reaching out to us whenever she needed some assistance. I would sometimes talk to her for hours about Ben and tell her my worries. She stepped up as my mother figure and in the end I was rewarded with her becoming my actual family. My mother-in-law. I can thank Ben for that.

When I first brought Ben to the Rebel base, everyone’s guard was up. I will never forget the looks of betrayal. Especially from Poe. Finn just looked outright confused. The vibrating anger I felt from Poe felt like a kick to the stomach because he truly didn’t believe in me. Like I would willingly bring someone harmful to attack my friends. My new family.

Luckily Leia stepped in and told everyone to scatter so they could catch up and hash out his “surrender.” It took months for anyone to begin to even feel comfortable around the previous Supreme Leader of the First Order. Many wanted him executed or put in jail. Hearing about this always threw me into a fit of rage so Leia decided to set up a training course for me—and Ben—to sweat out our frustrations. To calm me down and for Ben to forget his never-ending guilt; if only for just for a few moments.

Rose was the first one to come around to Ben. One day, she decided to join us for breakfast. There’s a small cafeteria area where rations are handed out twice a day. But Ben and I usually take our rations to our room or find a place deep in the woods to get away from the others and their animosity.

Rose insisted we sit with her and Finn. I’ve never seen Finn look so rigid and nervous in my entire time of knowing him. I almost felt bad for him, but then I remembered why he was like that. I blame Poe for making it harder on Finn to come around because they became very close, so, of course, Poe was confiding in Finn about why Ben shouldn’t be here.

We gingerly sat down across from them and both looked at Rose expectantly. She huffed a deep breath and looked over at Ben. He nodded at her since she noticed her hesitate. She nodded back and squared her shoulders.

“I don’t hate you. Nor do I believe you have ulterior motives to sabotage us from the inside. I trust in Rey. Even though it took me way too long to remember that. I also realize she wouldn’t be...” Rose blushes, “hooking up with you if you wanted to destroy us all. I think you’re well past that now. Oh!” Rose sticks out her hand. “My name is Rose Tico, by the way. I apologize it took me so long to introduce myself, but I hope we can be friends. It’s very nice to meet you.”

Ben shakes her hand and gives her a small smile. “I appreciate it, Rose. I am pleased to meet you. Thank you for believing in Rey. And me. I have many mistakes I need to atone for.” I roll my eyes at this and he brings a hand over to my thigh and squeezes it. “Rey will also keep me in check. 24/7.” He winks at her.

Rose blushes even harder and looks down. I see her nudge Finn with her elbow. I look over and see that his eyebrows are scrunched together and he’s staring at Ben. “I never thought I’d see the day where the mighty Kylo Ren actually smiled.”

No one speaks for a few breaths. I begin to speak up. “That’s because he’s no longer—“ Ben’s hand squeezes my thigh again. _I’ve got this._ He says to me without moving his lips. I start to nod at him, but then freeze. I stare at him wide-eyed because I realize he just TELEPATHICALLY communicated with me.

Before I can even formulate my thoughts on what just happened into words, Ben starts speaking to Finn as if nothing particular just happened. “I never thought I’d see one of Captain Phasma’s expertly-trained troopers become a rebel.”

Rose’s mouth drops. My inner reverie on telepathy is instantly broken. Finn just crosses his arms across his chest. “Seems like anybody these days can change, huh?”

“Right.” Ben nonchalantly replies.

They look at each other as if they’re expecting someone to say something. Almost daring each other to act.

Finn closes his eyes for a second and then sticks out his hand a moment later. “Welcome to the Rebellion, ya rebel scum.”

I loosen a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Rose looks over at me and smiles brightly.

“Pleasure to be had, FN-2187.” Ben reaches over and clasps Finn’s hand. I kick him underneath the table to show him my annoyance of using Finn’s dreaded stormtrooper number. But then I realize it doesn’t matter, because Finn is now smiling at Ben.

“We’re going to get along nicely, aren’t we?”  
Ben nods and looks at me with an evil glint in his eyes. “Absolutely.”

“I don’t like where this is going...” I mumble. Rose laughs and stands up. “As much as I’m enjoying this, I’ve got to get a move on. Chewie just commed me and is asking for some mechanical assistance on the Falcon. I’ll see you all later!” Rose sets off towards the hangar.

Finn gets up too. “I need to go also. I’ve been assigned a recon mission with some new recruits. So it’ll most likely be me showing these greenies the ropes. Can’t believe the General assigned me this.” Finn sighs irritably.

“Finn, you know what you’re doing. You can be a true leader someday if you stop complaining and start believing in your own abilities. Leia knows what she’s doing.”

Finn glances over at Ben and then back to me. “She does, doesn’t she? Whatever, I’m off. I’ll see you in a few days. Don’t eat all these delicious rations before I get back!” Finn waves at us and catches up to Rose and takes her hand.

I smile at them as they walk away. Then, I hear Ben mutter, “How can he actually LIKE these rations?” I just burst out laughing. Ben shoots me a glare.

I wipe my tears of mirth away. “Are you serious? Have you ever heard of sarcasm?”

“Of course I’ve heard of sarcasm. He just seems like he actually would enjoy the taste of rations.” Ben grumbles. I roll my eyes at him for the second time today and give him a peck on the lips. “Let’s go find you some fruit. Someone needs some more sugar.” I waggle my eyebrows at him.

Ben smirks and pulls me to his chest. “I’ve got all the sugar I need right in front of me.” He leans down and captures my lips. “Mmmmm. All the sugar I need,” he says against my lips.

A voice interrupts us from the side. “When’s the wedding?”

We look over and see Leia smiling at us with an exasperated expression. I look down as I feel my cheeks begin to burn. Ben lifts my chin and softly strokes it. “Whenever Rey gets down on one knee.”

I flinch and look up at him. “What?!”

“You heard me.” He let’s go of me and joins his mother. He looks back at me. _I’ll see you later, sugar._

I flinch again as I remember that he can talk to me in my head. He winks at me and leaves.

I’m going to need to learn to shield my thoughts around him if I don’t want to embarrass myself. This just got way too interesting. Ben and I are going to have a long talk when he gets back tonight.

-

-

-

Hyperspace

I find myself staring outside the cockpit window at the multitudes of stars shooting past us at the speed of light. I’ll never get used to the fact that I’m flying through space.

When I was living on the desolate, sandy planet of Jakku, I would always find myself looking up at the stars for comfort. To seek comfort from the terrible loneliness that shrouded my heart.

It’s been years since I’ve been in that sand hole, but I’m still a tad grateful for it since I can now appreciate the smalls things most people miss. Things like showering without fear of wasting precious water. Cold food and drinks. I went berserk when Ben first introduced me to flavored ice cream. I’ve never tasted anything so decadent.

As I was thinking of ice cream, my stomach rumbles. I place my hand over my stomach and sigh.

A pair of strong arms suddenly wrap around my shoulders. “Sounds like you could eat an entire wampa. Would you like me to grab some of the leftover pancakes from this morning?” Ben runs a hand down my arm lightly.

“I’d like that. We’re about to make planet-fall in eight hours. So you better have your report ready for your mother.”

Ben abruptly stops moving his hand down my arm. “Rey... I don’t answer to mom anymore. You know why she decided to leave.”

I inwardly sigh at my forgetfulness. “Oh. Right. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to her not being in charge. She still is my master, so I guess that’s why I keep slipping up.” I try to change the subject. “How are you liking working with Finn and—“ my stomach chooses that exact moment to make another loud rumble.

“Let’s get that beast inside of you fed and maybe then I’ll enlighten you on the nature of my relationship with the new co-generals.” Ben stalks away to grab the leftovers as I set the ship to auto-pilot.

He still feels guilty about Leia stepping down even though it was Leia’s choice to want to spend more time with him. They both will never forgive themselves for their past actions. I told myself that I have to be the catalyst to set them both on the path of self-forgiveness.

I leave the cockpit and meet up with Ben in one of the many rooms that his command shuttle houses. We share the captain’s suite that I put upon myself to tirelessly redecorate with brighter colors and softer edges; also with an abundance of pillows, much to his chagrin.

Ben is sitting down on the edge of our queen-size bed as I walk in. He hands me a plate of food. I ravenously dig in and Ben just watches me with a small smile.

“Someday I’m going to teach you how to eat properly. But, then again, I thoroughly enjoy witnessing how insatiable you are.”

I finish off my plate and look down at him from where I stand. “Are you insinuating something, my love?”

Ben stands and takes the plate out of my hands and sets it on a table nearby. He draws me to his chest and backs us both up until the back of his knees hit the bed.

“I love it when you go feral.” He kisses the side of my mouth and licks away some syrup that still reside on my lips.

I reach up and cup one of his cheeks. “I’ll show you feral.” Then I push him onto the bed and straddle his hips. I start grinding my center against him as I feel his hardness start to grow.

“Show me, Rey Solo.” Ben grunts out and then I drag my tongue up his neck. I begin sucking on his neck. _Now who’s the possessive one?_ Ben quips at me in my head.

I nip his chin in answer and begin to unbutton his tunic. I trail kisses down his chest until I get to his navel. I look at him and raise an eyebrow. Why aren’t your pants off already? Ben laughs out loud and shucks off his pants as I take my shirt off, somehow still maintaining our positions.

Ben slides his hands down my hips and begins to slowly push my pants down my legs. Once I’m completely bare, except for my panties, I rub my body against his bare chest. He looks down at me with an expectant smirk.

I give him a devilish smile as I grip him below and start pumping my fist. He closes his eyes and cants his hips as I continue my ministrations. I bend down and close my mouth around him and begin to suck. He gasps and his eyes fly open in ecstasy.

After a few delicious minutes, full of panting on his end, Ben reluctantly places a hand on my head. This indicates that he wants me to stop. I look up at him and blink at him.

“If you continue any longer I’m going to come.” He then pats the bed. “Lay down on your back next to me,” he says a little breathlessly. I consent and crawl over next to him.

Now it’s my turn. Ben’s silky voice echoes in my head like a soft caress.

I sigh as he moves over me and rests his knees next to mine. I close my eyes and relax as I feel his teeth sliding down my inner thigh. He switches to my other thigh, this time biting down.

I stifle a gasp and smack his arm lightly. “Hey! That wasn’t a love bite, that was a full-on chomp. You need to stop doing that every time. I am not a piece of meat!”

Ben just looks up at me under hooded lids and, while keeping eye contact, drags my panties off with his teeth. I clench my thighs in anticipation. He definitely knows how to shut me up.

He places his head between my thighs, grasping the outside of them and lightly kisses my center. Ben looks up at me before proceeding. I blush and hastily nod.

Ben lowers his mouth again, but then looks up at me abruptly. “You like it when I bite you. Just admit it.”

I am taken back at his sudden mood change and growl at him. “No. Bite me hard again like that and I’m biting your dick off.”

As I finish my sentence, I notice his pupils are completely blown. He stares at me as he sticks two fingers in my already wet center. I pull my head back and gasp. He slowly pulls his fingers back out. “If you want more, Rey, then you’re going to need to tell me the truth.”

Now I’m getting pissed. And sexually frustrated. If this man doesn’t start pounding me in the next minute, I’m going to do it myself.

“Ben Solo, oh sweet dearest husband of mine.” I lean forward and grab both sides of his face. “I want children in our future, but if you keep this up...” I look down at his sprung dick and look back up at him with a raised eyebrow.

Ben flashes his teeth and pushes me back onto the bed. He straddles my hips, pulls my knees up, and I wrap my legs around his waist. “Guess tonight is the night I gotta—“ he tilts his head and pauses. He looks down at me and smiles. “Impregnate you.”

He plunges into my center before I can even think of a reply. He starts to heavily rock into me with slow, but punishing thrusts. It’s not gentle, but not too painful either. With a mix of pain and pleasure coursing through me, I begin to grip the sheets as Ben picks up the pace.

I release a loud moan. Ben, who’s mouth was busy with my left nipple, reaches up and captures my own mouth with his. He hums with pleasure against my lips as I start to move my hips up to meet his.

I close my eyes and see stars exploding in my vision. Intense pleasure shoots through my veins as pressure starts to build up in my core. Ben releases my lips as he senses the change in me. He starts to thrust even harder.

I reach behind him and squeeze his ass, enjoying the feeling of his backside muscles clench and unclench as he rocks into me mercilessly.

I cry out as my bliss overtakes all of my senses. I scrape my nails down his back as I go limp in his arms with overwhelming pleasure. Ben quickly follows with a grunt. He pulls out and flops down heavily on top of me while wrapping me up in his warm embrace.

We heavily breath together, oddly in sync, as we come down from our orgasms. Ben nuzzles my neck and rests his head against my clavicle. I begin to weave my fingers through his soft, wavy ebony tresses.

As we catch our breaths together, I sigh deeply with contentment. Ben shifts his head and starts to kiss my neck again. After a short while, my eyes start to tiredly close.

Before I can enjoy the deep embrace of sleep, I feel a sharp pain at my neck. I flinch and look down at the smuggest looking man I’ve ever seen in my life. I somehow shove my naked beast of a husband off me.

“You’re so going to pay for this.” I mumble at him. He just wraps his arms around me pulls me to his chest. “I’ll do anything for you, sweetheart.” Ben whispers in my ear.

I huff at him as I snuggle closer into his chest. He stays quiet for a moment. Then he slides his thumb across my lips.

“I love you, Rey.”

I smile with my eyes closed. “I know.” I kiss his fingertips. “I love you.”

Ben hugs me tighter and finally closes his eyes. They immediately shoot back open as I bite one of his fingers.

“Never led your guard down, Captain Solo.” Ben eyeballs me in disbelief.

“Oh, it’s on now.”

We both smile at each other and call a truce.

But only for tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A man’s gotta eat, amiright! 
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope to shed some more light on Leia and Ben’s relationship next chapter, along with Rey’s with her new mother-in-law and now Jedi Master. Of course there will be some fluff. Or maybe some angst. Stay tuned.


	4. Uncertainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flash of red and then a black, sinister mask appears in my memory. It surprisingly doesn’t warrant fear. The memory is quickly shoved away as if it didn’t want to be seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *84 years later...
> 
> Sorry for the late update. I recently got a new job and acclimating into my new routine took away some of my free time. I’ll try to post a new chapter at least every other week. 
> 
> I planned on having more Leia scenes, but my mind took the story elsewhere. I just couldn’t get that Exegol scene out of my head so I’m trying to remedy it. Hopefully for the better!

** Ajan Kloss**

We arrive on base in the early morning. I can sense that most of the rebels are still asleep. As I step off the ship’s ramp, I am greeted with a gigantic wall of fur wrapping himself around me. 

“Chewie!” 

I hug him back hard. “I’ve missed you. Let’s catch up tonight. I miss working on the Falcon with you.”

Chewbacca, Han Solo’s oldest friend, is one of my favorite beings in the galaxy. He is basically Ben’s uncle, whether Ben likes to admit it or not.

Ben walks off the ramp behind me and nods at Chewie. Chewie roars at him and greets him with a hug, too. I can see Ben straining to smile and slightly pats his back. Always keeping up with his serious demeanor. 

“How are you, Chewbacca?” Ben asks politely. 

Chewie grunts out some recognizable phrases of Shyriiwook to Ben that begins to fade away as I walk further into the base to meet with the co-generals. They’re going to want to hear about our new update face-to-face. 

As I am about to open the door leading into the co-generals’ meeting room, Ben catches up to me with a huff. 

“Chewie is not happy that you left the scrap bucket damaged on Tatooine. You’re lucky you slid out of there before he realized we didn’t have the Falcon on standby.”

I grimace and feel slightly ashamed. After everything that has happened, I completely forgot about the Millennium Falcon. At least it’s in a safe space.

“Are you volunteering to go on another trip with me to Tatooine?” I ask him, with a sideways glance. 

Ben opens the door and walks in. I follow closely behind him. “Absolutely not, although it is quite... breathtaking seeing you in your element. With the sun beating down on your wonderfully tanned skin. I just want to lick—“

Someone clears their throat loudly. Poe Dameron steps back from peering down at a holo-map in the middle of the room. Ben smirks up at him.

Poe sets down a cup of caf and places his arms behind his back. “Welcome back, Solo Squad. Thought you two were off on another honeymoon. What’s the status report?” 

Before I can get a word out, BB-8 comes barreling in and goes straight to Poe. 

“Old buddy!!” Poe exclaims as he gets down on his knees and starts patting his droid, looking for any damage. 

I smile down at them and lean against Ben who wraps an arm around my shoulder. 

As Poe stands back up, Ben immediately begins to explain everything leaving out the parts where BB-8 fell into a sand pit and my dark side moment where I almost killed him. 

“How was the training sesh?” Poe asks, looking straight at me. “Did you finally learn how to read minds? What am I thinking now?”

I roll my eyes. “Nothing. You have no brain so I can’t hear anything.” 

A chuckle reverberates behind us. I turn around and see my best friend walk in. 

“Never change, Rey. Poe needs SOMEONE to deflate his ego.” Finn smiles brightly at me and grips me in a tight hug as I rush towards him. 

We step back from each other and fist bump.

“Can I get any respect from you two anymore?” Poe mumbles. 

“Nah.” Finn replies.

“Anyway, what did your Captain Solo teach you?” Poe asks. 

I sigh inwardly trying to ignore the lingering feeling of fear from what I almost did to Ben. 

“He taught me how to—“ 

Ben interrupts me. “It’s a Jedi secret.” Then he forced a smile on his face. 

Great. That wasn’t suspicious at all. 

“Whatever.” Finn shrugs. “I trust you guys and sometimes I don’t understand most of what you’re doing. But that’s okay. I’m just happy you’re both on our side.” 

“Such a sap.” Poe says. He looks at Ben. “Just know you can trust us in turn. It works both ways.” 

Ben nods and turns to leave. I wave my goodbyes and told Finn I’d join him for lunch.

As we are walking back to our quarters, I grab his hand and thank him. 

He squeezes my hand, but doesn’t reply. We continue walking in silence holding hands. I can sense that his thoughts are elsewhere. Worrying about something. As always.

After a few minutes, we reach our destination. I plop on the bed Leia spoiled us with, or rather, spoiled Ben with since she is willing to do anything within her power to make his life better. Even the smalls things. I am not complaining, though. The bed feels like a cloud. 

“What was that about?” I ask him. He takes off his boots and sits on the edge of the bed.

Ben steeples his hands against his forehead and sighs. I roll over to him and put my head on his lap, looking up at him. Waiting. 

A whisper of Ben’s consciousness pushes into my head. I let him in. 

_ I want you to understand that I trust you completely. I just don’t completely trust those around you. They will never understand what force users experience. They will never understand that darkness exists inside all of us, even if we vie for the light. It’s natural to feel the pull to both sides. I’m going to show you how easy it is to lose faith in the ones you love and trust the most. How easy it is to betray someone without even meaning to. _

Ben sighs again and caresses my face. He closes his eyes and shows me a whirlwind of emotions. 

I suddenly grip his wrist and press my head against his stomach. Desperately trying to stabilize the overwhelming feelings he’s sending me through our bond. The feelings of despair and heartbreak he felt when his mother abandoned him. When his father ignored him. When his uncle tried to kill him.

Then he shows me his understanding of why they did it. To help him grow and become a better Jedi. To help him gain inner strength and learn to be independent. To save him from himself before he hurts anyone else. 

_ Even though they think they have your best interests in mind, they will only ever think of the smaller picture. They may not see the bigger picture of how it will affect your life. How a simple decision to prevent you from fulfilling your destiny will ultimately lead to your decision of turning your back on them. On the very people you thought you could trust. Simply because they do not understand that you are connected to this galaxy. That using darkness, such as your force lightning, is natural in the way of the force. As long as you keep your balance with both the light and the dark.  _

“Ben...” I say out loud startling us both. I sit up and look him in the eyes. 

“I understand that you’re afraid for me. Of what might happen if my friends turn against me. Against us. But we can never know for sure if that will happen. If we can’t help them understand the force, then they will never understand us. How we’re here to help. To keep the galaxy safe.”

Ben scrunches his eyebrows together and swallows. “Right.” He utters. “Right, but I—“

I interrupt him with a look. 

“Trust in me. If anything does happen, just know we can get through anything. As long as we’re together. Remember?” 

“Yes. Always.” He looks me in the eye with more conviction. “You’re right.”   
  


I lean my forehead against his and Ben smiles. A deep sigh shudders throughout my body from the relief that this man, my husband, will always be by my side. No matter what.

A knock at the door shatters the moment. I get up off the bed to go check who it is while Ben goes to the fresher. 

I open the door and a wildly out of breath Finn is huffing at the door. “Why aren’t you checking your comms?!” He gasps out.

I look around the room and can’t find any beeping comms to be found. I glance back up and shrug sheepishly. “Must’ve left them on the ship.”

Finn, after gaining his breath, glares at me. 

“This is why it is so hard to get anything done around here. People never keep their comms on them at opportune times! Like right now!” Finn barks at me.

Ben appears out of nowhere at my side. 

“Enough, Finn. What’s happened?” He seethes. 

I quickly grab Ben’s wrist as if to stop him from raising his hand, but he only slides his fingers down to hold my hand. 

_ I will never hit him, Rey. Unless he really deserves it. Or maybe when you’re just not around... _

I glare up at Ben and see no change in demeanor. He has such a good politician disposition. Leia would be proud. While I’m just annoyed.

“Three star destroyers just appeared in the atmosphere. We have minutes before their landfall. We need to evacuate now.” Finn rapidly explains. 

“They’ve found us.” I whisper. I look up at Ben. “But... how? Did I lead them here?” 

Ben grips my hand tighter. “No.” He grits through his teeth. As if he’s angry with the galaxy. “This is not your fault. We need to get to my ship. Grab your saber and let’s go. It’s time to head back and grab dad’s ship. There’s something I’ve been meaning to show you.”

I force pull my lightsaber to me and follow him down the hall with Finn leading the way. 

The ground starts to rumble with explosions off in the distance. As if a giant beast is slowly making its way toward us. 

As we arrive back at the hangar, Chewie is already waving us over to Ben’s ship. 

Ben and I board the ship, along with Chewie following close behind. Chewie roars at Ben to  punch it  in Shyriiwook and Ben immediately complies. As if this simple command was said and done hundreds of times before. 

Once we hit hyperspace, we all take a deep breath. The weight of imminent death no longer on our shoulders.

Chewie comms Leia to update her on what’s happened since she was off world trying to delegate more alliances in the outer rim. 

I’m unstrapping myself from the chair that sits behind Ben’s when I start to feel a cold tingle in the back of my head beginning to blossom. 

White spots appear in my vision as if fat snowflakes are appearing in front of me. Then, all of a sudden, a swift  snick  resounds in my ears. Everything around me falls silent. My force senses have been muted.

I begin to huff my panic and Ben spins around in his chair and looks at me. Assessing me. 

“What’s wrong, Rey? Rey?” Ben asks frantically. 

I shake my head as I feel hot tears run down my face. I can’t talk. I can’t think. I’m cut off from the force. From him. Ben. 

I am cut off from my force dyad who’s sitting not even two feet away from me. 

“Why can’t I feel you? It’s like our bond is closed off? Is it him again? Sweetheart! Look at me!” Ben begins raising his voice in wild anxiety. 

My eyelids begin to droop and my last sensation I feel is of a hand shaking my shoulder. 

Everything goes dark. 

-

-

-

I awake to a constant mechanical whirring. Tendrils of ice shoot down my veins as I feel my body react to its surroundings. 

Where am I? Why is it so cold? I try to stand up, but my legs betray me. 

I fall down hard onto my knees. I grit my teeth and look around. Or at least try to.

Everywhere is covered in darkness. I see small blips of light from electrical currents overhead, though it is too dim to focus on anything in particular. 

I try to remember my last memory. How I got here. Nothing is making sense. I remember a pressure on my shoulder and the feeling of dread. But that’s it. That’s all I can remember last.

I try to regroup my most recent memories.

My name is Rey. I was abandoned by my parents on Jakku. I grew up on Jakku and became a scavenger. I ran into BB-8 out in the desert lands. Finn turns me into a wanted fugitive. I met Han Solo and Chewbacca. We arrive at Maz Kanata’s cantina. The First Order arrives. But then... then... nothing. 

A flash of red and then a black, sinister mask appears in my memory. It surprisingly doesn’t warrant fear. The memory is quickly shoved away as if it didn’t want to be seen.

I shake my head and take a deep breath. I take stock of what I have on me. 

I reach down to see what’s hanging at my waist. A short rod of what feels like durasteel is there. I unhook it from my belt and instinctually click a button, thus creating a whoosh of an astounding blue light. 

Is this a lightsaber? Like what the old myths about the Jedi had? Why do I have it?

A rumble shakes the ground beneath me as I try to get into a crouch since my legs aren’t cooperating. 

I can’t stand. 

Did I lose feeling in my legs after falling, perhaps? 

A whisper of fear shoots through my heart as a phantom pain burns in my lower back. 

The mechanical whirring that reverberates throughout this place I’m in begins to grow louder. I slowly slide towards the source of the sound on my forearm, using my other arm for the lightsaber that sheds light on my newfound surroundings.

I am in a cave. Or maybe a tomb. 

A scratchy voice whispers throughout the cave in a breathy echo.

“Perhaps this will be your tomb, Rey of Jakku.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to roast me! Love me some critique. Especially since I’ve never published anything outside of school/work.


	5. Hooked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We walk deeper into Ben’s well-kept ship. I notice that all the walls and floors are neatly cleaned and there’s no oily smell or dirty tinge to any surface. I smile to myself as I think back to when Ben first started taking on some Resistance responsibilities. The utter disgust on his face as he took in all the unkempt bases we chose to reside in was utterly priceless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May the Fourth be with you! Always.
> 
> Tried to get this chapter up multiple times these past few weeks, but being an essential employee has made it impossible. Today sparked me to finish since it issssss a very important holiday.

** Hyperspace **

I wake up gasping in Ben’s arms with tears streaming down my cheeks. It was all a dream. 

A shuddering chill runs through me as the final grips of a dark presence recedes from my mind. Another hard grip still won’t let go, though. This one is warm and soft.

I blink my confusion away and look up. Chewie and Ben are both looming over me as if they were surprised I was even there. Perhaps, they thought I wouldn’t wake up. 

“Ben... we need to stop him.” I whisper. “B—but first, we need to find out where he is. And, most importantly, WHO he is.”

My heart was threatening to burst as it hammered away in my chest. Ben grips both sides of my face and gives me a hard kiss before he even says a word. It’s suffocating, but I don’t want him to stop. 

Ben finally releases my face and stands up. “I have something to show you.” He helps me up as Chewie grumbles that he’ll keep an eye on things in the cockpit. 

We walk deeper into Ben’s well-kept ship. I notice that all the walls and floors are neatly cleaned and there’s no oily smell or dirty tinge to any surface. I smile to myself as I think back to when Ben first started taking on some Resistance responsibilities. The utter disgust on his face as he took in all the unkempt bases we chose to reside in was priceless. This was also a few months into our very new, heated relationship.

-

-

-

** Coruscant (flashback)  **

I am running late as I barrel through a flurry of late-night Coruscant traffic on a “borrowed” speeder I found sitting outside one of the many local bars. I have to veer off to my left as a traffic jam abruptly slows me down. I huff to myself as I come to a standstill. I decide that the authorities will find this stolen speeder sometime today anyways so I skip over the multiple vexed occupants of the traffic-jammed speeders as I continue my way off into unauthorized lanes with a smirk on my face.

The smirk is immediately torn from my face as I race pass an entire squadron of stormtroopers on their own speeder bikes. 

“After her!” I hear one of the stormtroopers shout. 

Shit. Now I’m really going to be late. I really do have a knack for making good impressions on the first day.

I sharply turn into an alleyway and dip down to surface level, trying to lose the bucket heads behind me. I get off the speeder bike and force push it further down into the alley. I hurriedly jump into a hidden balcony overflowing with the most luxurious carpets I’ve ever seen in the trade. I stop to gawk at one in particular that has red symbols. One with a triangular aspect to it that catches my eye. I trace my fingers over it and feel a chill run down my spine. 

The chill brings me back to my senses as I rush through a door that leads out to the balcony and push my way inside. A child with adorable red curls gasps as I barge in. She lifts up the object in her hand and glares at me. “I know this is just a book, but momma said knowledge is power and I’m not afraid to use it!” The girl squeaks out, with the most adorable-looking glare I’ve ever seen. 

“Easy there scarlet! I’m just trying to lose my stormtrooper friends. We like playing hide-n-seek so we can figure out who’s the most stealthy!” The lie rolls off my tongue like this whole fiasco was premeditated. 

The girl scrunches her face up in a cute scowl and drops the book. “Well, all right then. Maybe next time you should knock? Momma told me to never let strangers in the house while she’s working. Especially if they don’t knock and announce who they are.”

I smile at her and lift my hands. “I am on my way out now, don’t you worry. I’m sorry for startling you, but I have to say... you’re really brave.” 

“I know. The world is cruel so I have to be brave or it’ll hurt me. That’s what momma says.” 

“Your momma is really smart. Okay, I’ll be on my way! Here’s a few credits for the hassle.” 

The girl smiles and walks me out to the front. “I hope they don’t catch you! By the way, my name is Isabeau. Scarlett is my momma's name.” Before I can even say another word she shuts the door in my face and locks it. 

I grin and start running down another alley. She’s going to make it in this world. Without a doubt.

As I continue towards the Resistance’s hidden base, I find what I’m looking for and sink down to my knees and search for a trap door leading underground. I encounter a rusted, durasteel ring in the ground and pull on it four times. After a few seconds, a soft click reverberates to the right of me and I see a light flash at me twice. An underground grate opens up slowly and a head pokes out like a bogling. 

“Rey!” Finn harshly whispers. “Get the kriff in here before I have to drag you in!” I beam at my best friend and run over and slide down to meet him in the tunnels he already disappeared back into. As soon as we hit the bottom I hug him tightly.

“Uhhh. Rey... you do know that you being late makes him a lot more hostile to us, right?” Finn chuckles as he lightly pats my back. We separate and start walking through the dimly lit tunnel. 

I smile to myself and glance over at Finn whose hands are stuffed in his trousers. “I have a feeling he’ll let it slide.” Finn widens his eyes and shakes his head. “I have no kriffing idea how you manage to stay on his soft side. Forget about your force bond! GIRL! You irk the shit out of him whenever you walk into the room. His glare always becomes stronger somehow. It’s amazing how he hasn’t burned a hole through your head from the power of it!” 

I shrug his comments away. Ben Solo is not scary. He is just hard to understand. He doesn’t enjoy me putting myself in danger. Especially when I joke to him about my middle name being “Danger.” He can be a real grump. I know just the thing to make him loosen up—

Finn’s waving hand in my face breaks me away from inner thoughts. 

“You okay? I lost ya there for a minute.” Finn quips after me lightly.

I blush and give him a small smile. “Just thinking.”

“Don’t think too hard. Your brain will explode.” 

“Oh! Is that why you no longer have a brain, Finn?!” 

I sock Finn in the shoulder as he tries to trip me down the hallway. By the time we make it to the resistance’s hideout’s hidden entrance, I have Finn in a headlock and we’re both laughing obnoxiously.

We hear someone’s throat being cleared and we both look up into a set of stern-looking brown eyes. 

Both of our mouths shut and we let go of each other like we were just caught by an angry school matron. 

“I am so elated that you could make it Rey. I figured traffic might have been the issue, but it seems you were out on a leisurely stroll. Perhaps, now that you have settled, we can continue our plans on rescuing our fellow, reckless leader, Poe, who was last seen near the droid spa in the lower market district. He hasn’t made contact in 6 hours and was supposed to return 2 hours ago.” Ben deadpans each word as if there was no emotion behind them whatsoever. 

Finn and I were feeling a bit miffed by his tone until we heard about Poe. We both straightened and looked at each other in concern. 

I lift my hand to begin apologizing. “I’m sorry. I was being chased by the bucket heads again. I truly wasn’t trying to be late. I did not...” I stop talking as I see the look on Ben’s face. I’m not going to be able to get myself out of this one, apparently. Ben is solidly PISSED. More so than usual. I’ll have to ask him about it later. 

“If you were more careful,  dear , I’m sure that wouldn’t have been a problem. You are still undisciplined and could’ve easily avoided the situation if you had only used some of your intelligence that I know you have buried deep down somewhere.” 

I raise my eyebrows at that last comment. Now I’m starting to get pissed. I slowly clench my jaw and cross my arms. “Well, now that’s out of the way,  DEAR, who was the last one to be in contact with General Dameron?” I ask with a hint of malice. 

Finn coughs and steps away from us; finding the maps on a nearby table a lot more interesting than our current conversation. 

Ben ignores my tone and continues on as if we both didn’t want to strangle each other. 

“Ms. Tico was the last one in contact. He hailed in for a quick update, but was abruptly cut off.” Ben flicked his hand and a comm projected the last recording we had of Poe before his descent into action. “This was shortly after we lost all power here underground. I believe a seismic device went off, since it is rare for this planet’s power to be off for even five minutes with all the backup generators and advanced technology it inhibits.” Ben continues to explain the entirety of what happened and all of his theories and any other situation that may have occurred.

I nod along as best as I can. My attention is easily stolen by the movement of Ben’s lips and how soft they are. We haven’t seen each other in a week and I’m starting to feel feral. Ben has a knack for turning me to mush with just one look, but I’m not going to tell him that. I’m angry with him. 

A sudden silence rises and I look back up into Ben’s eyes. His beautiful mouth eases into a slight smirk. 

“I’m going to go talk to Rose and see what else she might’ve forgotten to mention...” Finn trails off slowly since he is tired of our antics. 

Ben absently nods at him and Finn high tails it out of the room and scurries further down into another hallway; leaving the metal door to swing shut with a bang. 

The noise jolts me out of my daze and I come back to my senses. “Why haven’t you answered any of my comms these past few days?” I ask Ben with a tinge of hurt. 

His smirk drops and he walks over to me and embraces me. His tightening hold shows me just how much he missed me too. “I have been off-world dealing with the Hutt cartel. I tried negotiating with them for a deal on some ships, but I—“ He stops what he’s saying and looks down at me. Me, who is about a head shorter than him. 

“But that doesn’t really excuse it, Rey. I—I always hated it when my parents left so it was easier for me to try to forget that it happened in the first place. I guess I was doing the same thing with you. I tried imagining you still being around. That you’re simply waiting in my ship’s quarters for me.” My breath stops in my throat as I realize what he just conveyed to me. This is a first. 

Ben has always felt that he was abandoned by his parents. The way they left him with Master Luke and didn’t realize how detrimental it really was to him. His father was always coming and going and Ben never really knew when he’d be back. Leia was always busy with senator business so any spare time she had would be a short comm to him every now and then. Sometimes none at all. Ben is not used to the consistency of loved ones being there for him. He just wasn’t raised with it. 

I’m hyperaware of how important these next few words I say to him will be. So I make them as genuine as possible. “Ben. I will always come back to you. You should know how much I care for you. You must know I wouldn’t leave you alone to face anything alone. Not anymore... no. Not anymore because that is all left behind in our past. Okay?” 

He scans my face to see if there are any hints of deception in my eyes, which fractures my heart most painfully. I vow to myself that I’m going to show this man how much he deserves to be loved.

Ben nods slowly at me and blinks. “Okay. Right. Back to it then.” He continues nodding and then walks over to the maps on the table. I follow close behind and hook my pinkie finger to his. Ben squeezes it and continues on. 

He points to an  _ x  _ that was marked in orange on a map of Coruscant. “I want you to run the rooftops of this area, where our General Hot-Head,” I pull one of Ben’s ears at the quip, “was last seen. I had Rose already do a flyover with her new junk-drone. No sign of him yet, but I want your senses out there doing another scan. I have a feeling he hasn’t moved from that spot.” 

I salute him and say, “aye aye Captain!” with mock sincerity. He just rolls his eyes at me and waves me away. 

As I hurry and stock up on some recon gadgets Rose likes to experiment on, I hear Ben softly sigh. I look over at him quizzically and he smiles at me and places his enormous hands on his hips. “I want you back with a report in my quarters in 2 hours. Not a minute late, Jedi. I look forward to hearing what you have to say, thoroughly.” 

My face starts to heat from his implications and I nod at him with renewed vigor. I walk out of the base with one set goal in mind. Find Poe...so I can make Captain Solo beg for forgiveness for making me angry, while he’s on his knees with his head between my thighs. Yes, I think that will do nicely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really get sucked into flashbacks and idk if I like doing that. I’ll finish it up next chapter.


	6. Chastised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The feeling of anguish, hate, and utter rage fills me as I aim this unknown power at the remaining Stormtroopers. As soon as I release it, I am hit with stings of blistering agony. I am dragged into darkness, but I hear a scratchy voice before it can take me. A short burst of low, gleeful laughter and then an image of a hooded figure smiling at me and beckoning me forth."

**Coruscant (flashback)**

I arrive in the lower market district with a bad feeling hovering over me. The place is deserted, except for a few stragglers. Shopkeepers were busy closing up and a few kids run past me giggling. I did not think the markets closed this early. It wasn’t even dusk yet.

I stop and ask a tired looking woman why everyone is shutting down at this time. She blinks up at me wearily and shrugs.

“Patrols have been increased and we’re sick of being forced at gun point to give out “donations” every night to these spoiled bucket heads who get four meals a day. So we’ve decided to only sell in the morning and the afternoon. If someone is running late, they know the back ways to the sewers for the midnight trade... um who are you again?”

The woman steps back and realizes she just spouted delicate information. I can see her inwardly cursing herself for her reckless mouth by way of her eyes slightly flinching shut.

“I am just someone who is looking for a lost friend.” I mime zipping my lips. “My mouth is sealed with your secret.” I try to give her a reassuring smile, but she starts packing up more rapidly. “I’ll be on my way then.” I bob my head at her and begin to walk away.

I hear her huff behind me, and then “your idiot General is inside my store. I don’t want any trouble, but the man started it first when he tried to steal one of my carpets. I have a daughter to feed and this man thinks he can just come in here and start stealing? I thought the Resistance were supposed to lead by example. Not steal from the poor…” The woman trails off as she notices my infuriated expression.

“Ah. I see. You’re exactly right. That is not how we handle things at all.” I grit out. “Can I go interrogate my fearless leader?” I cross my arms in frustration. Or maybe to keep my hands from force choking Poe through the tent flaps. I cannot wait to hear what he has to say about this. Or what his excuse will be. I’ll stick to “provisions for the greater good.” He liked to repeat that one a lot. But usually towards the upper class on Coruscant. Not here in the slums. I don’t understand. 

“Oh. Oh honey, I sure am excited to see how this plays out. Please follow me inside.” The now perky woman hurriedly rushes me inside the small market tent. “I wish I brought my Isa. She would have loved to have witnessed her heroes in action. She pauses for a moment, as if she’s thinking hard about something. “My name is Scarlett. I hope to… I hope to see more of your people around here. We need some positivity and hope; now, more than ever.”

I quirk a small smile at her. I am pretty sure I have met this woman’s daughter a few hours ago. Best not to mention it since I also broke into her house. Isa sure saw one of her “heroes” in action all right.

“We are still few in numbers, but I promise that he doesn’t represent us. Actually, it’s just him distorting our image. Let’s go see what he has to say for himself.” I exclaim to her in earnest. Scarlett opens the flap that leads into her small store that looks as run down as the sandy market tents I would haggle in back on Jakku. My heart clenched in understanding for her struggle and why she took so much offense from Poe. As Scarlett opens another flap to the back room where she “captured” Poe, I see an image I will never get burned out of my head.

That red triangular symbol I saw before, when I first ran into Isa inside her home, appears on a carpet hung up in the middle of the room on the biggest loom I’ve ever seen; along with my idiot General wiggling around on the floor in front of it, rolled up in a bright, neon pink carpet. Poe looks up at me and his eyes widen. He sighs in relief, but I am going to make sure that relief doesn’t last long with how pissed I am. I look back at the brilliant woman who managed to tie up my general in the most fantastical carpet I have ever seen. 

I smile at her. “I can financially compensate you for the trouble, and please, never get rid of that pink carpet. It is the most beautiful carpet I have ever—” Scarlett stops me with a raised hand. “It’s yours. I’d like you to hang it up wherever he is most likely to see it every day. Just to give him a reminder. I do not need to be compensated for anything since he was unable to complete his foolish mission.”

I start shaking my head in exasperation. Is she serious? I can’t wait to tell Ben about this. He is going to love this. Or maybe be extremely irritated. Who knows with him. “Of course I’ll take it, but only if you are one hundred percent sure.”

After I say that, Poe starts grunting into his mouth bindings that Scarlett expertly tied around his face. His hands and legs are also bound and I find it hard within myself to release him. The thought of just leaving him here definitely went through my mind.

“I am confident that you will put it to good use. The one your leader was after, which is right behind him, is a family heirloom. I received it from my grandfather before he passed away. Do you know why your general is so interested in it? I have never seen these symbols before. I recreated it and have a few spare back at my apartment. I tried to sell them, but there has never been any interest. Well, until now.” Scarlett steps over Poe as if he’s a piece of furniture and drags her hand across the intriguing carpet slowly and looks down at him with searching eyes.

I crouch down next to Poe and untie his mouth bindings. When I’m finished, he starts gasping and spits out the leftover lint and cloth particles stuck on his tongue. “About time, Rey! What the hell!” Poe angrily sputters out. He glares at me in confusion. Maybe it was hurt. I didn’t care at the moment.

“Excuse me? You were the one who broke into this lady’s store and try to steal some of her merchandise. Why are you mad at me? You should be thankful that I came looking for you at all. Be— um, I mean, the Captain was the one who sent me over here to find you. You have been missing for hours and we thought the worst. Well… he hoped it was.” I mumble the last part quietly to Scarlett.

“Hey! What did you just whisper to her? I am your General and you should treat me with more respect!” Poe tries to sit up, but miserably fails. I try to keep the smile off my face. I take a deep breath and untie the rest of the bindings and help him up.

Poe huffs in indignation and straightens his face before looking to Scarlett. “I am sorry for the intrusion, but I got a tip,” Poe glances at me with his eyebrows raised. “from our beloved _Captain_ , that a local woman was housing Old Empire paraphernalia. And possible clues to help our cause against the Final Order. I thought I could just take a peek inside and try to snap an image of it to send back to him. See? I was not trying to steal it. Just document it.”

Scarlett frowns deeply. “Old Empire? What? That is from my grandfather. I don’t understand how it could be labeled as such. That’s entirely ridiculous. There’s no way he could have had that. He—he would never have given that to me if it meant it would cause me or my Isa any trouble.” Now Scarlett looks over at me in a guarded expression.

I put my hands up to try and quell the situation that was beginning to quickly brew. “Wait a minute. Just wait. Before we all get upset,” I look to Scarlett, “what did your grandfather do for a living? We will not do you or your merchandise any harm. Just hear us out.”

While Scarlett looks down in thought, I think on the new situation that Poe just gladly started. Ben sent him here to find Old Empire artifacts. Why would he do that? How can that help our cause? I take a deep breath and feel for Ben in our force dyad connection. As I reach out to his consciousness, all I feel is trepidation and worry from him. Is he worried that I found out something he didn’t want me to find? Is he hiding something from me? How could he? My heart begins to clench in hurt and I feel Ben becomes aware of me. I close off the bond just in time for him to realize something was wrong.

My comm starts to go off and I switch it off. I don’t have time for him right now. I clear my head and focus on what’s in front of me. “Scarlett?” I ask. She looks up at me in misery.

“Grandfather never liked talking about his past. He was estranged from his family and he never talked about the war. He made sure to keep my grandmother and my mother away from the Empire, but when the First Order began to rise, he disappeared for a while. Along with my mother. It was just me and my grandmother for years. I never did see my mother again, but my grandfather came back and told me that she was lost to us. I was only eight when he told me so I never did find out what had happened to her.” Scarlett begins to pace.

I look to Poe who signals me to continue questioning her. “What about your father?” I ask. Scarlett stops pacing. She looks down at her hands. “I never met him. Mother told me that they separated before I was even born. She always seemed sad whenever I brought him up so I stopped asking about him entirely.”

I walk up to her and place a comm in her hand. “If trouble ever finds you or Isabeau, do not hesitate to contact me for help. Thank you for the information. I will let you know what we find out about these symbols on your carpet. I don’t think the Captain would send Poe out here just to get him lost and tied up for no reason. He has been in a grumpy mood lately, but that was because of me this time. Not Poe here.” I smirk over at Poe and see him roll his eyes. He starts to head out and waves a hand above his hand and apologizes to Scarlett for all the trouble. I begin to follow him out after hauling out our brand new pink carpet on my shoulder when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I look down at the hand and then up at Scarlett. “I never said Isa’s full name, Rey.” I school my expression into seriousness, instead of surprise. “I guess you’ll just have to ask Isabeau about that. I give her a wink and swiftly leave the tent.

I catch up to Poe and smack him with his new carpet. “You are definitely carrying this back to base you imbecile.” Poe just grabs it from me and continues walking silently.

I look around at our surroundings and notice that the alleyway we turned down is completely empty. I lower my voice. “Poe… what is going on?” He just keeps on walking and stays silent. I scrunch my eyebrows together in annoyance. I don’t have time for this, but I mimic his silence and trail behind him.

When we finally reach the underground grate that leads to our hideout, Poe grabs my upper arm and stops me. He looks at me, then scans me up and down like I was infected. I rip my arm away from him and give him a confused scowl. “What are you doing?!”

Poe clenches his fists and then reaches for his comm he had hidden in his jacket. He lifts it up and shoves it in my face. “Do you see what this is? It’s a comm. Ya know, a communicator device that lets you communicate with others.” Poe backs up a bit and types in a few numbers and then puts it away. He looks back up at me. “I tried contacting you many times before I set out on my mission. Ben’s mission for me, which was actually supposed to be yours since he knew you could probably connect with the shopkeeper better than I could; WHICH you just proved true. What I don’t understand is how you can just keep blatantly ignore your commanding officers. I—I really did mean what I said back there. About you disrespecting me. I was in a rough position and I shouldn’t even have been there in the first place. REY, please check your comm more often!”

I looked up at him in surprise when he exclaimed my name loudly. I have never been chastised before by him and now I am trying to think back at my exchange with Ben before I left to go find Poe. Was that why Ben was so upset when I first arrived? Not that I was late, but because I failed to tell him—or, most especially, Poe—where I was. Ben must have known that Poe was starting to get aggravated with me so he just wanted to warn me in his own special way; which didn’t work out so well. I’m not used to checking my comm, so I usually always have a few missed messages here and there, but it was never a problem because…because I could always just check in via Ben’s consciousness if there was ever an emergency. I guess our force bond secret is why I’m in trouble with Poe.

I slowly nod at him and reach for my comm. I power it up and, as I’m about to log into it, Poe loses it. “YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE IT TURNED ON?!” Poe just stares at me in disbelief.

When did everything get so escalated? This can’t just be about me not answering my comm. We’ve been keeping our rebel activities on the down low lately, so I didn’t think I had to worry too much about emergency pickups. Plus, I check in with Finn or Ben, at least every day, in person. Especially with Ben. There should be no reason I should be under fire right now.

“All right. Okay. I GET IT, General. You can stop losing your mind and start quieting down. I’ll explain myself when we get inside—” A gun is pressed to my head. “Hands up, rebels.”

A squad of twenty Stormtroopers surround us. Poe just face palms and curses. We both slowly raise our arms as they search our persons. As one of them reaches my lightsaber I swipe my arm over their head and they drop like a sack of potatoes. The rest of the patrol takes about five seconds before responding with rapid fire. I launch myself in front of Poe and switch on my lightsaber as I hastily block all of the blaster fire coming our way. I take out two of them, but I’m quickly overwhelmed. I give Poe a quick look and point my head behind him; giving him the hint that I want him to get the hell out of here. Since he _is_ the General of the Resistance and all.

“I’ll be right back Rey.” Poe whispers. Then he turns and slides down into the tunnel behind us. I see one of the troopers reach for his comm before I slice it in half with my lightsaber after jumping over the rest of his squad. Our base is not being found out today just because of my ineptitude of being a good rebel.

Some troopers start to trail Poe, but I redirect my lightsaber towards them, since it’s getting barraged with constant fire, and manage to take them out in time for Poe to get away. My focus is starting to waver as I feel the exact moment when Poe told Ben what was happening. His fear and anger startling me. I take a step back and roll backwards into one of the many alleys down here in the lower market district to get out of reach and to try and refocus. I begin sprinting down the alley in search for a better vantage point.

I refocus and open all of my force senses to look for cover. I am met with a few rotted, wooden barrels. This will have to do as I dive behind them as I see one assault trooper catch sight of me. His officer must have sent him ahead to sacrifice him just so we could make a scene and blow my cover. Not going to happen. I wave my hand in front of his face and tell him “the Jedi went the other way. You must hurry.” As my mind trick sets in, the trooper turns away and runs back the way he came from.

I remain still and try to reach out to Ben. As we both become conscious of each other I hear a muffled whimper. I peek up over the barrels and see Isabeau clutching her arm while blood trickles down her face. She must’ve accidentally stumbled into the chaos. The chaos that I caused. Fear shoots through me. _Where are you? Rey?_ Ben’s frantic voice echoes throughout my head, but I just close down the connection as I feel a familiar rage build up within me.

One of the troopers started to drag her toward a pile of trash, almost as if he was going to dispose her then and there. How DARE they hurt Isabeau? I move out away from the barrels and simply walk up to the trooper and decapitate him. His head hits the ground with a loud _clunk_ and slowly rolls and hits Isabeau’s foot. She looks up at me in horror, thinking that she was next. I begin shaking my head, about to tell her that I am here to save her, but she swiftly regains her bearings and shoulder checks me aside as she runs away. Runs away from the monster who just sliced someone’s head off as if that was the only choice she had. As if she relished in the trooper’s pain and the control she had over his demise.

Before my dark thoughts could suffocate me; the rest of the squad shows up and begins firing away in another onslaught. I automatically try to force push them back, but a blaster beats me to it and it clips me in the knee sending me to ground—hard. I grunt in pain as black dots start eclipsing my vision. Before more blaster fire could wound me, I bring up my hand one last time and use a power that I have only felt a few times before that I’ve always been too cautious to use. The feeling of anguish, hate, and utter rage fills me as I aim this unknown power at the remaining Stormtroopers. As soon as I release it, I am hit with stings of blistering agony. I am dragged down into the darkness by a heaviness that brings no warmth, but I hear a scratchy voice before this cold sorrow can take me. I hear a short burst of low, gleeful laughter and then I see a hooded figure smiling down at me and beckoning me to come forth.

Then, the shadows cover my vision and I am gone.

-

**One week later**

The nostalgic smell of desert nightbloomers greet me as I slowly regain my consciousness. I used to keep bouquets of them inside my AT-AT walker home back on Jakku. They would remind me that beauty can still grow in the harshest of elements. That if one is strong enough, then one can survive anything if they have the will to do it. How fitting, I think, as I open my eyes to a low-dimmed room filled with dozens of cords and hospital equipment.

The breath stops in my throat as I feel tremors of pain throughout my body. I grit my teeth as I begin wiggling around to check to see if I can move anything.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” A deep, but familiar voice, warns me from my left. I turn my head and lock eyes with the most striking, brown eyes I’ve ever seen. Eyes that see into my heart, mind, and soul. Then, the memory of everything that happened flashes before my eyes. “Ben.” I choke out. Shame and guilt shoot through me, along with the much deserved pain that came with it. Tears start running down my face. “Ben, I’m so sorry.” I tighten my fists into the bed sheets and look away.

Ben grips my chin and forces my head back to look at him. And what I see, what I’ll always cherish, is the most blinding smile I’ve ever been blessed with to witness. “You’re alive, Rey. That’s all that matters to me.” He takes a deep, shaky breath. “You’re alive.” He whispers. Then he releases my chin and takes my hands in his. Ben bumps his forehead against mine and nuzzles me. “You can’t do that again. I was so close to losing you. Don’t ever stop fighting. You have no idea how much you mean to me. No idea how much I am willing to do for you. You have to know that I—” I put a finger to his lips and shake my head. I close my eyes and inhale his scent, along with the scent of nightbloomers; making this single breath the most delicious aroma I have ever smelled before.

I open my eyes again and peer up at him. “I love you, Ben.” I smile up at him. My heart skips a beat as I see the shock in his face. “I love you more than anything I know. All that is me, is all yours… unfortunately.” I grimace at the last comment I say. Ben shakes out of his reverie and grips both of my shoulders lightly. “Unfortunately? There is nothing wrong with you. Darkness resides in all of us. Especially me as you well know.” Ben pauses in thought and let’s go of me. He frowns and crosses his arms. Almost as if he’s pouting…

“I can’t believe you beat me to it.” Ben sulks. Ben, who is probably the most powerful being in the galaxy, who towers over every single rebel in the base, including me, is sulking. Like a child.

“Beat you to what?” I ask gingerly. He huffs and scoots me over on the bed so he could lay next to me. Since he is one massive specimen of a man, and takes up the entirety of the bed, he just lightly sets me on top of him, making sure none of the medical cords jostle.

He cradles me in his arms and looks down at me. “Saying I love you.” Now it’s my turn to widen my eyes and look as if I never knew how he felt. “I love you.” He says. I close my eyes and place my head under his chain and relish this soft moment. I hug him and he squeezes me back.

“Loving you is as easy as taking a breath, Rey. You are the air I breathe. You’re it. I hope to never leave your side. Through the light or dark, I promise to always be with you.”

“Be with me?” I tentatively ask.

“Yes. Be with you. Always.” Ben proclaims. “Always, my love. My…” He glances over at the nightstand holding the nightbloomers. “My night flower.” He breathes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished up the flashback. I was on a roll this weekend and I'm elated I was able to knock out this chapter. I am sensing an evil Rey may be popping up somewhere. Please leave any comments or suggestions with what you'd like to read about in the next chapter. In the words of Emperor Palpatine, "Do it."


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